:: urbansheep (urbansheep) wrote,
:: urbansheep

  • Music:

[ Q ] Nerve.com - About Last Night . . .The Cool Ex by Carrie Hill Wilner

It makes perfect sense to exorcise the ex from your life entirely. But that's a problem in a world where the paradigm is the Cool Ex — a drinking partner, someone with whom you exchange barbed opinions on your new loves. You're friends, but even better, you get to release any lingering resentment by teasing each other about sex. You force yourself to be casual, to listen to the details of your ex's new sex life, so you don't seem overly emotional, crazy, attached. Ultimately, if you do stay close with an ex, you must have a good reason, because you're risking a lot of pain. They'd better be a fucking amazing person — or someone who can get you into fucking amazing parties.


Then, even as I sulked, regretting my pettiness and time lost, I started to feel better, because I knew I'd see Rusty again — here, in Chicago, wherever. This is the paradox of the Cool Ex. I created a superficial friendship out of tense joking and studied flippancy, to overcompensate for post-hookup awkwardness, as a way to bridge that initial discomfort. But once it was bridged, I had — surprise — an actual, real live friend. Which is important. There are people I can talk with about whiskey, there are people I can talk with about Gram Parsons, and there are people I can talk with about being a slut, but all three? That's special.

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